I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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