dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Enjoy the penises
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
