Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
