lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
