Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
