yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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