at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she smelled like a LAN party
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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