It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
