HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
