I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
why does every cop we meet know your name?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
