oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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