My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
