I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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