East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
