I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
