i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
