your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
