Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
