So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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