I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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