Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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