i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
