He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
