I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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