508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
