If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
