So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
