Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
