four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's shark week go big or go home
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
