Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
