My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Drunk is not a location!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
