We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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