Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
