dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
