I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
