I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
