No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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