Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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