thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
