none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I accidentally burped into my bong.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
