I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
