so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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