I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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