k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
