Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
