i think my tv is drunk
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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