new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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