All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
