Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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