ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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