I'm eating all of the evidence.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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