I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
