Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
